Take a Step Back

In the couple days since I've made this post I've received some excellent and varied responses; both here and on a forum that I frequent. I really appreciate everyones input and it's left me with plenty to think about.

One of the things I was reminded of by a couple people is that a job isn't everything and there's much more to life then that. Funny how me of all people would forget that since it's been my motto the last few years.

I think the thing that's got me a little but frustrated right now is that for the last few years my plan has been to just live my life how I wanted and to do what I want. If I feel like moving then move. If I feel like living out of my car for 6 months and traveling the country then live out of my car and travel the country for 6 months. If I feel like having a different job then get a different job.

But right now I'm not doing what I want to do and unfortunately there isn't anything that I actually want to do right now. So that's got me in an awkward feeling position where I want to do something but I can't seem to make myself take the plunge. Perhaps because I know I'm prone to changing my mind and life direction on a whim I'm reluctant to devote large portions of time/money on something that I think I might want to do only to end up abandoning it later. I also don't want to just sit around waiting for something to come along that I actually want to do only to find myself broke when it shows up.

ACK! I gotta quit over thinking this!

This morning started like most other mornings over the last month. My dog woke me up because he was hungry at about 7:30. I told him to shut up and laid in bed for another 15 minutes because it was really comfy before I broke down, fed him, and let him outside. There's no going back to sleep for me then so it was onto the computer to check my e-mail, research things I might want to do, check forum postings, and to generally just kill the morning.

Around 8:30 or so I came across an excellent response to my blog post on a photography forum that I belong to. It was like a wake up call for me and really stopped me in my tracks and made me think. I went upstairs and had a couple bowls of cereal while I contemplated things. Then the dog, cat, and myself stood in the warm sun coming through the window for about 10 minutes to think a little longer. Never had I been so motivated not to do anything!

Instead of heading back downstairs to the computer for the rest of the morning I grabbed my camera gear and my dog and headed out the door. The first stop was the grocery store to pick up a loaf of bread. On the way past the deli I noticed some good looking chocolate pie in the display and thought, “why not”! I got myself a piece of pie and found an empty booth were I enjoyed my mid-morning snack and read about a robot heckling Bill Clinton and found out that Blossom is 32 years old. Then we stopped by the shop to see what my dad and sister were up to and then out to Ft. Defiance state park for a hike. I brought along my macro lens and tripod so I could continue a little project I started last winter of photographing ice formations on the edge of the water. Me and Rudy both had a good time, he even did a little swimming (I never said he was smart).

I came back to the house, wrote this, and now I'm getting ready to head out the door to drive to Lakefield and hang out with Sarah. We'll eat some food, drink some wine, smuggle Rudy into her apartment (Shhhh!) and start watching season three of The Office. I'll crash on the floor and then we'll get up early and go for a hike before she goes to work if we're ambitious; or we might be lazy and just drink hot chocolate instead.

I don't need to stinkin' career; at least not now anyway. I'm gonna keep my options open and my bills low; maybe I'll pick up some little rinky dink job to make a little money, who knows!

I'm almost 30 years old, unemployed, and living in my mom's basement. Life is good!!

Thanks Jorn.